Based on detailed and long-term anthropological research among rural Kadazans, the paper sets out the social history of domestic violence in one Sabah village. In more than 30 per cent of the households, there is a woman who has experienced repeated spousal abuse during her life. Adding those men who abused earlier spouses, and adults who lived through the abuse of their mothers in childhood, it is clear that violence is and has long been part of everyday — yet secret — village experience. For various reasons, researchers appear to have colluded in ignoring the issue. To help those women and their children whose lives are blighted by fear and fearful memories, it would be wise to assume domestic violence is as present in rural as in urban settings.